Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Where Are You Going?


Today I was walking across campus and came across our weekly student organization tabling. Generally I am usually in a hurry and do not really take much time to look at the different tables and what they have to offer. However, today was different.

When walking past some of the tables, some for awareness events this month, some selling organic products, others just simply raising money, I was stopped by a religious group on campus. They were having people sign a poster that asked you a question along the lines of "Where will your path take you?". Now being a second year in graduate school, getting prepared for the next transition in my life and after having ironically registered for my job placement conference last night, THIS was a loaded question.

For a minute I had to really think...

"Where AM I going?"

I did not know the answer to that question, but I found myself responding:


"In a big city and one day with a Ph.D!"


Now this is interesting. I know I want to be in a city and I always teeter back and forth on a more advanced degree in the future, however at this moment I found myself writing it down on paper. While I am not certain of my path in the next 7 months, I am certain that I have big goals and dreams.

Lately I have been having a lot of self doubt and asking myself a lot of "What-if" questions. I have realized though, that by being more energized by my future and what is truly out there, there is so much to celebrate. I am not perfect, but there is so much about me that I need to be proud of that I do not let myself see. These are feelings that are easy for me to suppress and I have always been that way.

But as I start this journey on my "path", these are feelings that will hold me back from that big city, from that one day Ph.D, from that first job and more. I need to embrace myself and follow this path wherever it takes me on.

That organization will probably never know what that poster did for me today and tonight as I write this blog, but thank you.

My favorite band, Dave Matthews Band best put it:

"...take what you can from your dreams, make them as real as anything"- Grey Street

and this, this is something I have to do.



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