Sunday, September 28, 2014

Sunday Ramblings

Lately I have been pondering and thinking and reflecting per usual. Over a Grande Shaken Passion Tea Lemonade (no syrup) and over an hour walk through St. Louis's beautiful Forest Park (and fortunately right near my neighborhood!) a lot passed through my mind.

Throughout this whole transition and my transitions in the past I feel like I have changed as a person. My priorities have shifted, my outlook on things have differed and I have felt more mature. But do we really change? Can people really change that much?

There have been times during this move that, for lack of a better description (and I think this sounds super dramatic), that I have lost parts of who I am. I have been not confident in myself, felt lonely, confused, scared and more. There have been multiple nights where I have just gotten really sad and really down. I have overanalyzed everything and have driven myself crazy before going to bed! These are feelings that I know, no matter where I moved or whatever I did would've happened. This is part of this major life transition we go through when we finish college.

With more reflection and thought I don't think people necessarily "change" who they are, but rather adapt to their new environments, communities and life situations. I think in the craziness of figuring out life here and not having an already defined set of community that my undergraduate experience and my graduate school experience gave me, these are things I am realizing have affected me. These are things that affected those parts of me that weren't "normal" me. I know that I am 120 percent at my best when I am surrounded my good, likeminded individuals, with energy and charisma that can bring me up.

I thank the strangers that have become my friends here in St. Louis. Day by day it gets better knowing I have some awesome friends here that I can actually make plans with and do things with! I know I am not feeling so "lost" anymore and I know that this just part of transition and our mid-20s. I have mentioned this previously, but moving and being completely uncomfortable is good for you. I highly recommend it. Without losing ourselves per say and without doing something new, one can never find their limits or see how far their potential can go.

I live a lucky life. I am lucky to have an amazing group of people in my life. Thanks for listening to me ramble, open up and just be honest on this Sunday evening.


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